In the last two months, youth sports have surged back to life. Parents have started their yearly tradition of driving kids to and from practices, games, and meetings. They are constantly asking questions, “When is the next practice?” “Why isn’t my son getting more playing time?” “What field is my daughter’s game at?” These questions come fast and hard at parents and many have not taken the time to slow down and consider another group of questions that all Christian parents should ask before signing their children up for sports.
Question #1) How will youth sports affect your family? It has become common for families to have multiple children in different sports, which means they are constantly on the go. If you find yourself driving frantically from practice to practice, eating junk food in the car, microwaving pop-tarts to save time, as Brian Reagan says, “You might need to loosen up your schedule.” Our family loves youth sports. We have put our kids in indoor soccer, baseball, basketball, gymnastics, football, and softball, but we have learned that our family can only handle one sport at a time for the entire family if we want to maintain a healthy balance for quality time with each child, regular devotions, and family meal-times.
Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers do not provoke your children to anger.” It is very likely that your children will become tired, irritable, and be tempted to be disobedient if they are not getting time to sleep well, do their homework, and have one-on-one time with their parents. Parents can make the mistake of thinking their kids will be angry if they don’t do constant sports, but the reality is they are kids! They are happy to be with mom and dad playing ball in the back yard!
Question #2) Will this sport have any games or practices on Sundays? My wife and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the spiritual growth of our children is always more important than their athletic development. The Bible makes it clear that the purpose of parenting is to raise their children in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 ESV) This means Sunday mornings are reserved for spiritual training with our church family.
Over the years, we have had coaches ask us if our son could go to a special training on Sunday morning or afternoon. We have made it very simple. Sundays are reserved for family, both our church family and our extended family and so we do not sign up for any sports that would conflict with our priorities. There have been times when a stand-alone sports event could have worked around our schedule, but we have never regretted saying “No” to youth sports on Sundays. If you want to get inspired by this commitment go watch “Chariots of Fire” and be amazed at Eric Lidell’s resolve to give up running in the Olympics because his event had been scheduled on a Sunday morning.
Question #3) Will this sport become an idol for me, my wife, or my children? The apostle John’s closing words in his first letter are surprisingly simple, “My little children, keep yourself from idols.” An idol is anything that takes the place of worshipping God. Jesus told us the greatest commandment is to “Love the lord your God with all your heart, with all your might, and with all your strength and a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:38-39) This means that everything in life needs to be considered through the grid of whether it is adding to our love for God or distracting from it. This grid is incredibly helpful with youth sports. Is your child overly concerned with how he or she is playing on the field? That might mean it is a good time to remind him or her to view the sport from God’s perspective. Is your child consistently struggling to enjoy the game? Then take a break. You are the one who signed your child up, you can talk to the coach and do what is best for your child.
Question #4) What is motivating you as a parent to place your child in sports? Is it because all his friends are in sports? Is it because you want him to get a college scholarship? Is it because you want bragging rights with your friends? God’s word tells us, “Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7) This is a good time to do some soul searching. Take a step back and realize that the rat race of the business world has taken over youth sports as well. There is money to be made in the world of sports and you would have to be naive to not realize that people pushing youth sports have less than pure motives. The Christian parent’s motivation for youth sports should be to glorify God and train their child. There are many good lessons that can be learned from playing sports, but there are many more bad lessons that can seep in and twist the motives of the athlete. Work hard to talk to your budding athlete and make sure they are thinking these things through for themselves.
Question #5) Where does the incessant push for youth sports come from? It reminds me of the reasons Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden fruit. Genesis 3 says, “She saw that it was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise.” It is very easy to justify things that seem innocent and positive on the outside. The Christian parent looks deeper. He asks good questions.
David King and Margot Starbuck have written a book titled Overplayed: A Parent’s Guide to Sanity in World of Youth Sports. They bring a Christian perspective to this topic by addressing seven common myths about youth sports. Myth number seven is this, “The Money We Are Investing into Youth Sports Will Pay Off.” It is true that college tuition is growing more expensive, but should you really invest in more than a decade of youth sports in the hope that your daughter will win a scholarship? Maybe she won’t want to go to college. Maybe she will go to a community college first? These questions need to be asked soon or else you will find yourself “red-shirting” your kindergarten child because of financial dreams that may never materialize.
Each family has to decide how to use the precious time given by God to raise their children. There is freedom to invest in different ways in youth sports, but each parent is responsible to ask Godly questions in order to raise their children in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
